ZURIEL OLOWE @BukunolaOlowe WAS OUR 4TH GUEST SPEAKER ON THE OCTOBER EDITION OF #AARTALK. SHE SHARED ON "KILLING ME SOFTLY- SEX ADDICTION"
Thank you so very much, am honoured to grace this esteemed platform and am not taking it for granted.
Our topic for tonight is 'killing me softly 'Sex Addiction', what is Sex addiction?
Sex addiction can be defined as a compulsive sexual behaviour, it is also called sexual dependency, hypersexuality.
Which we commonly know as nymphomania a termed used for females and Satyriasis for male.
An individual's intense desire to take part in sexual activity that basically does not seem normal to anyone.
In a lay man's term, it is a phenomenon where in a person can't manage their sexual behaviour & are obsessed with sexual thoughts.
Such sexual thoughts often interferes with their ability to work properly, have relationships and it controls their person.
Sex addiction as much as it is an obsessive compulsive behaviour, it distorts the person's lifestyle, you have an individual 1/2.
Seriously battling with intense sex drive, and such a person's life is dominated with a singular motive 'I want sex now.
CAUSES OF SEX ADDICTION.
Medical experts have said sex addiction may be linked to a biochemical abnormality or some chemical changes in the brain.
Research also found out that lesions of the medical prefrontal context (mPFC) a part of the brain result is compulsive Sexual acts.
Some times it could also be as a result of sexual abuse of a person.
A person could find solace in sex after consistently been put down or talked down by their parents.
A person seeking validation and feeling when they have sex they are loved by their sex partners.
A person who feels sex can be used as a reward because someone was nice to him or her.
An individual could be addicted to sex because they see sex as a form of them being in control of the other individual.
Lack of being able to say 'NO', when they are not assertive in taking a decision when it comes to sex.
For some in the process of wanting to boost their self esteem, Sex becomes a tool and power for them.
SOME SEX ADDICTION BEHAVIOURS.
Masturbation- When a person becomes addicted to masturbation, always wanting to satisfy themselves, it could be sex addiction.
Multiple Affairs- When a person is not satisfied with one sexual partner&would always want to sample everyone.
Pornography- the act of watching sexual explicit movies to entice yourself and always thinking of it.
Rape- The tendency that a person who rapes an individual is a sex addict is very high cos of lack of control.
A sex addict can never be satisfied with sex, no matter how many times he gets to have sex.
Excessive collection of sexual magazine, some go as far as having sex with the models in the magazine.
Risk taking sexual behaviour such as having sex in public and always having unsafe sex.
Sexual Rage Disorder- Distressed, anxious, restless and violent if unable to engage in their addiction.
Several attempts to stop, reduce or control their sexual behaviour without success.
Others include, Molestation, cybersex, Visiting prostitutes, going into prostitution, voyeurism, exhibitionism.
The individual having recurrent failure pattern.
COMPLICATIONS/ CONSEQUENCES.
If left untreated, sex addiction can leave the individual feeling guilty, it can also destroys self esteem/self worth.
Severe anxiety and depression, sexual transmitted infections, never able to enjoy sex.
Trouble in marriage, there is also the financial implication on a person, where you are bound to waste money.
The social consequences of sex addict may find it difficult to interact socially.
Emotional Consequences- sex addiction affects the emotional stability of an individual and create chaos to your lifestyle.
Don't let shame or quilt prevent you from seeking help on your sex addiction.
HOW TO STOP SEX ADDICTION.
You need to accept that you are an issue and you need help, but most people deny this fact.
It is an abnormality for you to want to have sex even when you see a naked woman in a magazine.
It is an abnormality for your penis to start dancing when you see a child or a woman.
It is an abnormality when as a woman you think you can use sex to reward every good act done to you or hold a man down.
The moment you know you need help, then you need to seek counselling and visit a sex therapist, who would help you out.
What are your triggers? Avoiding your triggers are one way to help you over your sex addiction.
Get a support group or an accountability partner, whom you can call when the urge starts.
Sex addiction does not have to control your life, it has destroyed a whole lot of people cos of lack of self control.
Some women have lost fantastic husband's and same with some men.
It is lack of sexual control that will push a man to sleep with the maid, child or a woman her driver& gateman.
Sex addiction can only do onething for you, it will kill you softly, it is a prey that messes up the most respected person.
You can seek help today by visiting Centre for Sex Education and Family Life @ Plot 14 Hilton drive off Ogundana street off Allen.
It is going to be a long journey but the recovery of your controlling your emotions is worth the journey.
I remember a certain time while I was in a BRT bus, I sat&a guy who was standing was practically having sex with my arm.
I felt his penis hard on my arm&when I looked up, he had his eyes close and his head thrown back. I was felt mad.
But because I work with people battling with addiction, all I did was slightly push him away and he ran to the back of the bus.
Luckily we came down from at the same bus-stop and I stopped him and spoke with him, apparently he was released 1/2.
From the prison some weeks back for child sexual abuse, and I felt bad for him. Cos I knew he needed help.
Today he's much better, working on his journey though it has not been easy but he is making it.
The power to seek for help and be help out of 'Sex addiction lies with you and no one else, until you say NO, you won't stop.
Sex addiction will only destroy you, it will never empower you. Don't die in silence.
Seek help now and be free from sex addiction bondage. Give yourself power to a journey of recovery.
Thank you so very much @Bunmi_Sobowale for this opportunity to tweet on #AARtalk.
Zuriel Olowe is a Conference Speaker, Master NLP Practitioner and a Character Based Relationship Educator. You can connect with her on twitter.
Thank you so very much, am honoured to grace this esteemed platform and am not taking it for granted.
Our topic for tonight is 'killing me softly 'Sex Addiction', what is Sex addiction?
Sex addiction can be defined as a compulsive sexual behaviour, it is also called sexual dependency, hypersexuality.
Which we commonly know as nymphomania a termed used for females and Satyriasis for male.
An individual's intense desire to take part in sexual activity that basically does not seem normal to anyone.
In a lay man's term, it is a phenomenon where in a person can't manage their sexual behaviour & are obsessed with sexual thoughts.
Such sexual thoughts often interferes with their ability to work properly, have relationships and it controls their person.
Sex addiction as much as it is an obsessive compulsive behaviour, it distorts the person's lifestyle, you have an individual 1/2.
Seriously battling with intense sex drive, and such a person's life is dominated with a singular motive 'I want sex now.
CAUSES OF SEX ADDICTION.
Medical experts have said sex addiction may be linked to a biochemical abnormality or some chemical changes in the brain.
Research also found out that lesions of the medical prefrontal context (mPFC) a part of the brain result is compulsive Sexual acts.
Some times it could also be as a result of sexual abuse of a person.
A person could find solace in sex after consistently been put down or talked down by their parents.
A person seeking validation and feeling when they have sex they are loved by their sex partners.
A person who feels sex can be used as a reward because someone was nice to him or her.
An individual could be addicted to sex because they see sex as a form of them being in control of the other individual.
Lack of being able to say 'NO', when they are not assertive in taking a decision when it comes to sex.
For some in the process of wanting to boost their self esteem, Sex becomes a tool and power for them.
SOME SEX ADDICTION BEHAVIOURS.
Masturbation- When a person becomes addicted to masturbation, always wanting to satisfy themselves, it could be sex addiction.
Multiple Affairs- When a person is not satisfied with one sexual partner&would always want to sample everyone.
Pornography- the act of watching sexual explicit movies to entice yourself and always thinking of it.
Rape- The tendency that a person who rapes an individual is a sex addict is very high cos of lack of control.
A sex addict can never be satisfied with sex, no matter how many times he gets to have sex.
Excessive collection of sexual magazine, some go as far as having sex with the models in the magazine.
Risk taking sexual behaviour such as having sex in public and always having unsafe sex.
Sexual Rage Disorder- Distressed, anxious, restless and violent if unable to engage in their addiction.
Several attempts to stop, reduce or control their sexual behaviour without success.
Others include, Molestation, cybersex, Visiting prostitutes, going into prostitution, voyeurism, exhibitionism.
The individual having recurrent failure pattern.
COMPLICATIONS/ CONSEQUENCES.
If left untreated, sex addiction can leave the individual feeling guilty, it can also destroys self esteem/self worth.
Severe anxiety and depression, sexual transmitted infections, never able to enjoy sex.
Trouble in marriage, there is also the financial implication on a person, where you are bound to waste money.
The social consequences of sex addict may find it difficult to interact socially.
Emotional Consequences- sex addiction affects the emotional stability of an individual and create chaos to your lifestyle.
Don't let shame or quilt prevent you from seeking help on your sex addiction.
HOW TO STOP SEX ADDICTION.
You need to accept that you are an issue and you need help, but most people deny this fact.
It is an abnormality for you to want to have sex even when you see a naked woman in a magazine.
It is an abnormality for your penis to start dancing when you see a child or a woman.
It is an abnormality when as a woman you think you can use sex to reward every good act done to you or hold a man down.
The moment you know you need help, then you need to seek counselling and visit a sex therapist, who would help you out.
What are your triggers? Avoiding your triggers are one way to help you over your sex addiction.
Get a support group or an accountability partner, whom you can call when the urge starts.
Sex addiction does not have to control your life, it has destroyed a whole lot of people cos of lack of self control.
Some women have lost fantastic husband's and same with some men.
It is lack of sexual control that will push a man to sleep with the maid, child or a woman her driver& gateman.
Sex addiction can only do onething for you, it will kill you softly, it is a prey that messes up the most respected person.
You can seek help today by visiting Centre for Sex Education and Family Life @ Plot 14 Hilton drive off Ogundana street off Allen.
It is going to be a long journey but the recovery of your controlling your emotions is worth the journey.
I remember a certain time while I was in a BRT bus, I sat&a guy who was standing was practically having sex with my arm.
I felt his penis hard on my arm&when I looked up, he had his eyes close and his head thrown back. I was felt mad.
But because I work with people battling with addiction, all I did was slightly push him away and he ran to the back of the bus.
Luckily we came down from at the same bus-stop and I stopped him and spoke with him, apparently he was released 1/2.
From the prison some weeks back for child sexual abuse, and I felt bad for him. Cos I knew he needed help.
Today he's much better, working on his journey though it has not been easy but he is making it.
The power to seek for help and be help out of 'Sex addiction lies with you and no one else, until you say NO, you won't stop.
Sex addiction will only destroy you, it will never empower you. Don't die in silence.
Seek help now and be free from sex addiction bondage. Give yourself power to a journey of recovery.
Thank you so very much @Bunmi_Sobowale for this opportunity to tweet on #AARtalk.
Zuriel Olowe is a Conference Speaker, Master NLP Practitioner and a Character Based Relationship Educator. You can connect with her on twitter.
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