January edition was strictly dedicated to questions and answers series. It was indeed a great time, people bared their heart by asking questions that had been troubling their mind. And our facilitators did justice to all the questions asked by the audience. The sessions were therapeutic.
AARTalk FEBRUARY EDITION
MEET OUR FEBRUARY SPEAKERS- INNOCENT USAR, OLUWOLE INSPIRES CHRISTIANAH AKINDOLIE, IHOTU JOY AMUSA.
Twitter handles @InnocentUsar @oluwoleInspires @akindolie2012 @aihot
Twitter handles
INNOCENT USAR was our 1st guest Speaker in the February edition of AARTalk. He shared on 'RESOLVING THE UNRESOLVED ISSUES OF RAPE'.
The session tackled on the issues and the myth around rape, it also talked about the effects rape leaves on victims and how we all can be of help to them .It was so educative and insightful, an eye-opener that was loaded with solutions. You can have a good read here.#ENJOY.
Good evening everyone and welcome. Thanks again @Bunmi_Sobowale for another opportunity to share.
While some rape survivors move forward and take control of their lives, others continue to suffer.
Some may even develop post traumatic stress disorder as result of the rape.
They struggle with reoccurring thoughts about the trauma and find themselves in a state of hyper vigilance.
Easily startled & always anticipating other attacks. Nightmares, flashbacks, sleep disturbances disrupt lives.
Constant efforts to avoid the memories of trauma literally control their existence.
Some rape survivors have post-traumatic stress disorder for years and need continuous counselling and support.
Survivors recover in stages. They may start with one stage, go to another, and go back.
Each person is uniquely different and therefore processes the event in his or her own way.
Survivors are not to blame for rapes and other crimes committed to them by another person.
We cannot control the actions of another person.
For Clarity, here are some definite and common symptoms of unresolved rape and other related traumatic crimes…
Anxiety, panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, shame, exaggerated emotions, irritability…
Mood fluctuations, hyper-vigilance, avoidance, attractions to dangerous situations or high-risk behaviors.
Nausea, headaches, dizziness, trembling, fainting, disorientation, sleep disturbances, nightmares...
.…heart palpitations & others. After being raped, immediate reactions are different. Some remain controlled…
Some numb, shock, denial disbelief, quiet, reserved, difficulties expressing themselves. Others differently.
Others being very expressive & verbalizing feelings of sadness or anger or appear anxious & may express rage.
Others show hostility against the medical/hospital staff or friends & relatives attempting to care for them.
Many different reasons aid or inhibit the survivors' ability to resolve the issues of rape. Here are some…
Positive feelings of self-esteem, good support systems, previous success with crisis enhance ability to heal
Survivors who can minimize or deal with one little portion of the problem at a time can and may find success.
Certainly and most definitely survivors moved to action gain confidence as they implement decisions.
Survivors who suffer with chronic stress, lack of support systems and prior victimization struggle...
They struggle less successfully to resolve their issues. Negative self-esteem often hinders their progress.
Victims often use mal-adaptive methods to deal with their stress. Methods that can't simply be used differently.
These factors hamper their ability to resolve the many issues of the rape and move beyond it.
Rape victims can suffer significantly from different levels of physical and emotional trauma.
This could be during the rape, immediately following the rape & over a considerable time period after the rape.
Rape victims usually go through a three-stage process as a result of forcible rape or attempted forcible rape.
Experts say that this syndrome is a reaction to a life-threatening situation & lasts from 2 years to a lifetime.
The acute phase begins immediately and lasts up to several days after the attack. .
The survivor feels violated and fearful and may be depressed even suicidal. .
Struggles with feelings of loss of control and may note changes in appetite, sleep habits or social functions.
The Acute Stage: This stage occurs immediately after the assault. It may last a few days to several weeks.
During this stage the victim may seem agitated or hysterical or may appear totally calm. .
Have crying spells & anxiety attacks. Have difficulty concentrating, making decisions, & doing simple tasks.
Show little emotion, act as though numb or stunned. Have poor recall of the rape or other memories.
In 2nd stage, it seems that survivors begin to resolve their issues. It's also called the "flight to health."
Masks the under lying problems as survivors make an effort to re-establish the routines of their life..
Sometimes, to feel back in control, rape victims make dramatic changes in lifestyle or environment .
They may quit a long-standing job or move to a new location to get a fresh start. They change appearance.
None of the changes brings about the security they search for as nightmares and phobias emerge. .
They work hard to suppress the feelings because dealing with them is so very painful.
The Outward Adjustment Stage: During this stage the victim resumes what looks like her/his "normal" life.
Survivors here are taking 1 step forward & 2 back as they stay stuck between stages & labour to find their way.
The Resolution Stage: Physical ailments, appetite disturbances (e.g. nausea, vomiting, compulsive eating)
Efforts to deny the assault ever took place &/or to minimize its impact, withdraws from friends &/or relatives.
Fixation with personal safety, reluctance to leave the house &/or to go places that remind victim of the rape.
Hesitates about forming new relationships and/or distrustful or existing relationship and sexual problems.
Disruption of normal everyday routines (e.g. high absenteeism at work, dropping out of school; etc
The feelings do not go away as before. Their re-surfacing introduces 3rd stage of the rape trauma syndrome.
The client no longer denies the issues; she/he may want to talk about what happened.
The client finds themselves more willing to accept counselling/help & feel emotions associated with the rape.
Survivors may feel overwhelmed as they attempt to deal with feelings they struggled to suppress after assault.
Often some sensory stimulation triggers memories that call to mind the sexual assault.
Suddenly the survivor seems to be re-living the trauma as the rape comes to life again.
Nightmares, phobias, depression, reoccurring thoughts and sexual dysfunction monopolize their thoughts.
She / he feels anxious to talk about it, to deal with it and is ready to seek therapy.
Also at this point needing the support of others who understand their needs.
Sometimes, she/he may not understand why the issues. Here, rape is no longer central focus in victim's life.
The victim begins to recognize that while she/he will never forget the assault, but the pain/memories lessen.
She / he has accepted the rape as a part of her / his life experience and is choosing to move on from there.
Some behaviour of the 2nd stage may flare up at times but they do so less frequently and with less intensity.
At this point, the person who has survived has moved from being a " victim" to a "survivor".
MEN - You may wish to also study : A Man’s Guide To Helping A Woman Who Has Been Raped… http://resurrectionafterrape.
Additionally SEE some helpful resources here as you check out…http://uic.edu/depts/owa/sa_e…
At this point I WILL LIKE TO ASK FOR ANY QUESTIONS TO BE ASKED ME please.
I appreciate @kickagainstrape
INNOCENT USAR life & love people who want to grow their lives & make a difference globally. He is a Lifestyle Coach, Trainer & Master Practitioner of NLP(Neuro-linguistics practitioner) and a lover of innovation...Follow him on twiiter @InnocentUsar and connect with him.
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