DEJI IRAWO @dejiirawo WAS OUR 2ND GUEST SPEAKER ON THE SEPTEMBER EDITION OF #AARTALK. HE SHARED ON "FATHERHOOD ISSUES"
Fathers issues is quite a broad spectrum of discuss. It pretty much covers the entire scope of a child's life. His entire sense of being.
Our discuss tonight will try to shed some light on what happens when a boy grows up without the necessary parenting from a father.
The underlining challenge is the lack of understanding of the meaning of manhood and our numerous roles as father, role model and provider etc..
Over generations we have handed down to our sons a faulty concept of fatherhood based on cultural construct and personality traits.
Each society has thus created a construct of fatherhood based on its unique world view and its normal to have a few faulty constructs.
Like fathers don't care give,don't display emotions in front of children,discipline must always be physical,chores are for girls etc.....
Studies in psychology and psycho-social mythology is helping in redefining fatherhood and its effects on child development globally.
Fatherhood is understanding that you are the chief responsibility officer for every child you bring into this world and you must accomplish it.
We can no longer define fatherhood by what we grew up with, we must intentionally raise future fathers trained to father effectively.
Boys are born with an abundant flow of energy. Fatherhood guides and channels that energy in wisdom helping him make wise choices in life.
Any male can give birth for to a child but fatherhood is accepting responsibility of raising that child. We are always confusing the two.
Our cultural construct encourages fathering children by ignorant and unprepared men who end up abusing the children and creating dysfunction.
Its the father's job to give his son the fundamental sense of identity, affirmation and validity he needs in life. Its not his mothers job.
Our inability to intentionally empower men to provide their sons with these basic needs of manhood means we have continued the ABUSE.
When we raise boys who are under develop the either emotionally, mentally,physically or relationally. That weakness will hunt him for life.
We urgently need to redefine fatherhood, re-educate fathers and empower them to train up sons with the vital help of mothers as a team.
Am not making excuses for men but i think the world is expecting LEADERSHIP from largely untrained men who grew up figuring things out.
Very few men grew up with fathers who had an understanding of fatherhood. The rest of us had none, absentee, abusive or alcoholic dads.
I am aware we hurt our spouses daily and they cant seem to understand why? I will give one likely scenario and round up with that.
Abusive fathers teach boys how to be overly critical of themselves until self-criticism becomes a defining part of his personality.
I appeal to our world to find it in their hearts to forgive us. We have been taught wrongly and we hurt everyone around us please help us today.
Thank you @Bunmi_sobowale for allowing me share the little i know. Its a privilege, to the ladies,our apology again and to the guys.there is hope for us.
DEJI IRAWO is a Kingdom Ambassador, Resource Person, Technocrat and Multi platform media. He is also the executive and Chief Responsibility Officer at X2D and Re Cap Africa. You can connect with him on twitter....
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