JULIE MOGBO @JulieMogbo WAS OUR 4th GUEST SPEAKER ON THE JULY EDITION OF #AARTalk. SHE SHARED ON "TACKLING NEGLIGENCE."
Good evening Tweeps! What a blessed day it is to share thoughts on how we could effectively parent our kids @KICKagainstRAPE.
Good evening once again parents, thank you @KICKagainstRAPE. For having me on this platform.
A young child once said: "sometimes, no one cares, no one comes to the house to see what's going on...@KICKagainstRAPE.
...so, no one might know or can tell from the outside".
Records show that neglect affects one in 10 kids in the UK.
Neglect is damaging to children's physical, mental and emotional development.
Sadly, children are suffering everywhere and there isn't enough voices to speak for them in Nigeria.
Often times parents are even unaware of their negligence towards their children.
Many unhealthy outcomes that are displayed by adults today are as a result of some sort of childhood neglect.
Outcomes ranging from low self esteem to alienation and withdrawal, to cognitive difficulties, behavioural effects and more...
As a parent, you may look within and make a quick attempt to conclude they do not neglect their children...
Do a quick appraisal of your behaviour or attitude to your kids or any other kid of late.
Have you yelled at your child to keep shut without as little a chance to tender an explanation?
Have you imposed your own thoughts, desires and opinion on your child without considering the effects?
When last did your child say no and you respected his or her opinion?
Do you consider respecting a child as a way of 'spoiling the child'?
The list is endless, but if you are guilty of the few points I raised earlier and these traits are consistent...
I'm afraid you are guilty of neglecting your child in one form or the other.
What then is neglect? How does a parent neglect his or her own child?
NEGLECT is a chronic failure to provide for a child's basic needs. And these needs vary
There are four basic types of neglect: physical, educational, emotional and medical neglect.
Physical neglect: failure to provide food, clothing appropriate for the weather..
Failure to supervise a child, and failure to provide a safe and hygienic home
Educational Neglect: failure to enroll a school-age child in school or to provide necessary special education..
Some parents who even have wards(non biological kids), of which are many in Nigeria are guilty of this
It is wrong to have a school-age child living with you without giving the child any form of education
Emotional Neglect: failure to provide emotional support, love and affection. This includes neglect of a child's emotional needs.
Also, failure to provide psychological care as needed. Neglect isn't really what you do but what you don't do.
I'm going to define the last form of neglect then expand further on emotional neglect.
Medical Neglect: failure to provide adequate medical care or response to injury or illness.
There is one vital thing parents need to be aware of, and that's the importance of both parents' involvement...
A child needs to grow up emotionally balanced and there's a role the father and mother have to play specifically
For instance, a girl child who has a good relationship with her father will have a more balanced emotional life
She will not easily fall prey to the luring of any guy. Rather, her father would be the standard for a marital decision
A guy who has a good father figure will not easily lose his identity as a man as he grows. Parenting becomes easier..
And children grow more emotionally stable and balanced with the ideal role models; father and mother.
How then can we tackle neglect and avoid its inevitable and long term consequences?
Parents, please understand that its okay and healthy to be able to say 'NO' .
It seems some or most parents consider it as rude or even appalling when a child says NO to them
Allowing kids the permission to say no, is grooming them to be able to make healthy choices when they grow
When they can say "NO", they feel less abandoned, and more loved
RESPECT: its funny to assume that respect is reserved for adults or the elderly only
Children are humans too! And they deserve to be respected. Showing kids respect does not mean you must endorse all their doings
To show respect means to treat the other person as human
When a child is respected, the child grows commanding respect and will not become an object of abuse.
Avoid DOUBLE MESSAGES. Sometimes, parents state rules and counter same rules ignoring the emotions of their kids.
When your best friend visits and asks to give your child a kiss and your child says NO u den convince your child to accept the kiss.
Your brother who hasn't visited in a long while comes with gifts and ask your child to take some and he refuses...
You give reasons why your children should change their opinion and accept that of the adults..
You have indirectly told your child that her opinion or emotions don't matter. That adults should always be pleased.
LISTEN! When your kids want to tell you something...don't be in a hurry to shut them up please! Let's pause and listen.
Often times, when kids sum up courage to speak and they get shut down, chances are they won't try speaking out again.
No matter how busy we are as parents, no matter how upset or troubled, let's remember that kids are kids not small adults.
Kids respond to love, care and affection. If we don't give them this, they will naturally tilt towards any other source.
Finally, SEEK HELP. I usually say that every device we use in our homes have user guides or manuals
Parenting requires a manual as well because no parent knows it all. Its okay to seek a guide on how NOT to be NEGLIGENT.
There are many passionate and skilled professionals who are willing to offer support to parents to effectively raise kids.
As we look away from our phones after this tweetinar, let's take another keen look at the kids around us
Know that your little boy will become a man, a husband and a father someday.
The little girl you see now will become a woman, a wife and mother someday.
Its a general saying that children will always be children. Well, I beg to differ because they will grow and no longer be kids.
What kind of husband are you grooming for your future daughter in law?
What kind of wife are you raising for your future son in-law?
Families are suffering today because homes are filled with half-baked emotional adults who were never kids
Please parents, allow your kids to be kids when they are kids and groom then for future roles and responsibilities.
Thanks for having me on this platform. I do hope we take emotional care of our children more seriously than ever.
Ask questions, its not expensive. Seek counsel, it very important. Teach your kids or risk losing them to wrong values.
Have a productive and loving weekend. Be there for your kids physically please, you'll be glad you did. Thank you all.
JULIE MOGBO is a Wife, Mother, Emotional Therapist, Nursepreneur, Relationship Strategist, Character and Value Advocate, NLP Master Practitioner.
Good evening Tweeps! What a blessed day it is to share thoughts on how we could effectively parent our kids @KICKagainstRAPE.
Good evening once again parents, thank you @KICKagainstRAPE. For having me on this platform.
A young child once said: "sometimes, no one cares, no one comes to the house to see what's going on...@KICKagainstRAPE.
...so, no one might know or can tell from the outside".
Records show that neglect affects one in 10 kids in the UK.
Neglect is damaging to children's physical, mental and emotional development.
Sadly, children are suffering everywhere and there isn't enough voices to speak for them in Nigeria.
Often times parents are even unaware of their negligence towards their children.
Many unhealthy outcomes that are displayed by adults today are as a result of some sort of childhood neglect.
Outcomes ranging from low self esteem to alienation and withdrawal, to cognitive difficulties, behavioural effects and more...
As a parent, you may look within and make a quick attempt to conclude they do not neglect their children...
Do a quick appraisal of your behaviour or attitude to your kids or any other kid of late.
Have you yelled at your child to keep shut without as little a chance to tender an explanation?
Have you imposed your own thoughts, desires and opinion on your child without considering the effects?
When last did your child say no and you respected his or her opinion?
Do you consider respecting a child as a way of 'spoiling the child'?
The list is endless, but if you are guilty of the few points I raised earlier and these traits are consistent...
I'm afraid you are guilty of neglecting your child in one form or the other.
What then is neglect? How does a parent neglect his or her own child?
NEGLECT is a chronic failure to provide for a child's basic needs. And these needs vary
There are four basic types of neglect: physical, educational, emotional and medical neglect.
Physical neglect: failure to provide food, clothing appropriate for the weather..
Failure to supervise a child, and failure to provide a safe and hygienic home
Educational Neglect: failure to enroll a school-age child in school or to provide necessary special education..
Some parents who even have wards(non biological kids), of which are many in Nigeria are guilty of this
It is wrong to have a school-age child living with you without giving the child any form of education
Emotional Neglect: failure to provide emotional support, love and affection. This includes neglect of a child's emotional needs.
Also, failure to provide psychological care as needed. Neglect isn't really what you do but what you don't do.
I'm going to define the last form of neglect then expand further on emotional neglect.
Medical Neglect: failure to provide adequate medical care or response to injury or illness.
There is one vital thing parents need to be aware of, and that's the importance of both parents' involvement...
A child needs to grow up emotionally balanced and there's a role the father and mother have to play specifically
For instance, a girl child who has a good relationship with her father will have a more balanced emotional life
She will not easily fall prey to the luring of any guy. Rather, her father would be the standard for a marital decision
A guy who has a good father figure will not easily lose his identity as a man as he grows. Parenting becomes easier..
And children grow more emotionally stable and balanced with the ideal role models; father and mother.
How then can we tackle neglect and avoid its inevitable and long term consequences?
Parents, please understand that its okay and healthy to be able to say 'NO' .
It seems some or most parents consider it as rude or even appalling when a child says NO to them
Allowing kids the permission to say no, is grooming them to be able to make healthy choices when they grow
When they can say "NO", they feel less abandoned, and more loved
RESPECT: its funny to assume that respect is reserved for adults or the elderly only
Children are humans too! And they deserve to be respected. Showing kids respect does not mean you must endorse all their doings
To show respect means to treat the other person as human
When a child is respected, the child grows commanding respect and will not become an object of abuse.
Avoid DOUBLE MESSAGES. Sometimes, parents state rules and counter same rules ignoring the emotions of their kids.
When your best friend visits and asks to give your child a kiss and your child says NO u den convince your child to accept the kiss.
Your brother who hasn't visited in a long while comes with gifts and ask your child to take some and he refuses...
You give reasons why your children should change their opinion and accept that of the adults..
You have indirectly told your child that her opinion or emotions don't matter. That adults should always be pleased.
LISTEN! When your kids want to tell you something...don't be in a hurry to shut them up please! Let's pause and listen.
Often times, when kids sum up courage to speak and they get shut down, chances are they won't try speaking out again.
No matter how busy we are as parents, no matter how upset or troubled, let's remember that kids are kids not small adults.
Kids respond to love, care and affection. If we don't give them this, they will naturally tilt towards any other source.
Finally, SEEK HELP. I usually say that every device we use in our homes have user guides or manuals
Parenting requires a manual as well because no parent knows it all. Its okay to seek a guide on how NOT to be NEGLIGENT.
There are many passionate and skilled professionals who are willing to offer support to parents to effectively raise kids.
As we look away from our phones after this tweetinar, let's take another keen look at the kids around us
Know that your little boy will become a man, a husband and a father someday.
The little girl you see now will become a woman, a wife and mother someday.
Its a general saying that children will always be children. Well, I beg to differ because they will grow and no longer be kids.
What kind of husband are you grooming for your future daughter in law?
What kind of wife are you raising for your future son in-law?
Families are suffering today because homes are filled with half-baked emotional adults who were never kids
Please parents, allow your kids to be kids when they are kids and groom then for future roles and responsibilities.
Thanks for having me on this platform. I do hope we take emotional care of our children more seriously than ever.
Ask questions, its not expensive. Seek counsel, it very important. Teach your kids or risk losing them to wrong values.
Have a productive and loving weekend. Be there for your kids physically please, you'll be glad you did. Thank you all.
JULIE MOGBO is a Wife, Mother, Emotional Therapist, Nursepreneur, Relationship Strategist, Character and Value Advocate, NLP Master Practitioner.
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