TOLULOPE SANGOSANYA @dustbinestate WAS OUR 3RD GUEST SPEAKER ON THE MARCH EDITION OF #AARTALK. SHE SHARED ON " YOU CAN RISE AGAIN"
She encouraged us with her story and went further to teach us on the life lessons she learnt during those trying period as she journeyed through life. She talked about how we all must deliberately invest into life. It was really an insightful session.You can have a good read here.....Enjoy
My name is Tolulope Sangosanya and I will be tweeting on 'You Will Rise Again' @Bunmi_Sobowale #BraceYourself
. I wasn't raped, however I was molested by a female family member plus attempted molestations by family member
First, let's establish why I was 'CALLifield' to speak on this topic.
I have had a masters degree in being not only at rock bottom but even under the barrel.
I stayed with over 7 families growing up.I was d only child between my parents whom married order people.I lacked ANY sense of belonging.
I had dyslexia as a child, couldn't read until I was 10. Had 1st degree of exam fever and was the laughing stock for years.
I repeated primary 2 as I came 1st from behind. I was 25th position out of 25 pupil in class at saint mary's sch in Isolo.
I was severely beaten in the hope that the pain will chase failure Out of my system but unfortunately I failed the next class too.
The academic failure continued until my 79 yrs old grandpa intervened & taught me how to read English, Yoruba & Basic arithmetic.
I came 67th position in JSS 1 in total of 120+ pupil in the whole set at model college Igbonla, Epe
My dad's faith in me made me study hard & I moved from 67th position to 9th in 1 term, I later became best students in 3 subjects.
I thought since I over came academically life will ease out but unfortunately I failed in business 4 years, sucked in relationships.
I didn't like my personality,I was bitter, vengeful in my heart,unforgiving & at a point suicidal,I just 'thought what's d point'.
I felt so unloved, unwanted & un-cared for for years. Most of the feelings where self inflicted & I 'enjoyed' my pity party.
I drank my tears like wine as I tell my little sad stories to whoever was willing to listen. That was my fate 4 23+ years.
If 1 needs 10k hours to be a master in 1's field,I guess I earned a PHD in failure as all aspect of my life hit bottom before it picks up.
The last stroll was my fear of death that kept me awake for years, dipping my hands in things I had no business doing.
Slept in white garment church for a whole month, seeking salvation than unknowing to me was FREE, did all manner of 'irapadas'.
SUDDENLY I came to myself, I woke up 1 day & decided I will not die twice, I refused to die while living. I began 2 speak life 2 me.
Then I met a man who changed my life for good. He later became my mentor; professor Wale Omole. He became my life coach, my angel.
Prof. Wale Omole wasn't a mentor alone, he was my therapist, I told him how I've succeeded in failing & he listened for months.
1 day, prof. Said 'enough'! Asked me what I was going to do with the issues life had thrown my way. I stopped in my tracks in shock.
Others have simply said 'eh yah' when I talk, prof. Got me thinking instead without the pity, he empathised 4 a while then ACTED!!
Prof. Said 'Tolu, you have to decide to decide'. He said many have decided not to decide & their indecision in itself is a decision.
He (prof. Wale Omole) taught me that I CANNOT love others without first loving myself. I always left prof.'S office with headache.
Its from prof. That I learnt that d most impactful life lessons come when 1 hits rock bottom. I learnt value of money in poverty.
Challenges reveals d REAL u 2 u.Ur personal S.W.O.T analysis comes 2 bear here. Challenges test ur core, its exposes what u believe.
Angels exist in human form if you're willing to work with them in some way, people will help you get by. Prof. Wale Was my angel.
It was prof. Who helped me draw a road map in life.Made me write down my core values & principles."NOTHING must go 2 waste" he says
Prof. Wale was over 60 when I met him & he read 2books weekly.He taught me how to read books that will help me. I read & we discuss.
In d books I read, I learnt ALL successful people failed in @ least 1 thing @ a point in their lives, in those books I found my way.
There is nothing as refreshing as knowing that someone believed in you. Prof would say "I see fire in you Tolu, you will succeed"
He said even though you fall 7 times, just continue to stand back up & fight. There was NO IDEA I ran by him that wasn't 'CREATIVE'
My mentoring relationship with prof Wale Omole lasted 2yrs,my wings were ready 2 fly SOLO & I did.I fell several times & got back up.
By then, I knew who I was. Knew why I was created, had a 10years plan. And knew I was healing & growing in process ☺
There is nothing I'm doing now that professor Wale Omole didn't know 10years ago. #AARTalk
From the books I read, I saw how @ Donald Trump picked himself up after filing for bankruptcy twice & still is 1 of the world's billionaires
I c how @JoyceMeyer uses her 'messy' sexual abuse by her father who raped her over 300times from age 8-17+ 2 become a global message of HOPE.
Good things do come out of challenges, I have seen friends that stick closer than family. Friends who will sacrifice 4 ur life
See Abraham Lincoln fall 17times & still became President of America. Tenacity is d key word with him
The fair- weather friends cannot stand the 'HEAT' so they are burnt away. There is a lot of growth that comes from asking for help.
No1 can control d world around them but I can control d nation inside ME. D 1st govt. I have is TOLU. I rule in this bodily form.
DeterMiNation- I Determine My Nation. I've learnt peace in turmoil. I let very little issue of life to 'trouble' my 'water'.
If my some 'miracle' issues sip into me, I KICK it out my listening to Yanni, exercising, speaking the WORD from my Creator.
I surround myself with positive people ONLY, once I get negative vibe from ANYONE, I stay away like they have plague ni o; I RUN!
I talk myself out of depression, sadness & pain. In talking I find solution by myself. I reason by speaking. I speak LIFE ONLY.
Find your self worth; nothing was created that doesn't have value. God is too creative as to waste His breath of life.u are valuable.
Only 2 people matter in how I view me; God & Tolulope herself. If u weren't present when my palms were designed then u have NO say.
In life we have only 2 options;2 make progress or make excuses. Its d "so what" & "move on" attitude.A choleric way of beating life
In getting up, find support group. I have my AWOS group of older women who have helped me grow over the years.
'Don't let today's disappointment cast a shadow on tomorrow's dream' .'and this too shall pass' ☺. Only d living have challenges.
Always count your blessings. I try to write 5things daily that I'm grateful to God for. It helps put things in right perspective.
"There is no such thing as failure if only we realise it isn't an end. We can decide what failure means" failure is subjective.
If there is one thing that's certain in life, its that nothing is certain so why pin your self worth on 'happening'?
All of my past failures were testing ground to learn how to teach children @dustbinestate its all beginning to make sense now.
I've found value in failure. My lemons are lemonades in Balogun Rufai & happiness, Aare solomon, Nicholas, Michael & 160more @dustbinestate
My success in failures taught me strategies in preventing my kids @dustbinestate from failing. I failed 4ward. They succeed forward.
I found my calling in life in my mess; the good ,bad & in-between works together to get one to fulfill destiny
There couldn't have been Joseph's crown without his prison experience,d man who mentioned him @ d palace he met in prison not MALL.
The greatest achievement in life is d choice to be empowered not paralyzed by disappointment. Be responsible for your own JOY.
Its impossible to see your future by focusing on your past. Let go of the past, learn from it & throw d rest away.
"We are remarkably good at disturbing ourselves" -Albert Ellis; one of the fathers of cognitive behaviour therapy.
"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle inside" in helping others you heal yourself. We all are connected.
"You've got to put something into life before you can expect to get anything out"- Zig Ziglar
After all said and done, man wouldn't remember that happened to you, what history records is what you did & made OUT of it!
I have spent 10years of my life helping children, I lived through them. My purpose became to help them find purpose& I LOVE my life.
I will not trade dyslexia that I had for any 'easy' way out, its taught me empathy which my choleric nature would have robbed me off.
Now I'm getting recognised 4 simply living LIFE, as I tweet, I'm nominated for Vlisco award for work done @dustbinestate, pls VOTE!
u can vote via text up 2 6times per phone. Please share with your network. I need d all expense paid trip that comes with d award.
You can read more on what I do, LOTS charity foundation @dustbinestate via google. I tell u googles knows more than I do on my job
For more info on LOTS charity foundation please call +2348055669729 and like our facebook page too, the kids will appreciate it.
With these few points of mine, I hope I have been able to help you chart your course better? D best person to help is God Himself.
He is d ONLY person who will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. D best of man with good intention is still very much limited!
May God help us all get back on top & SHINE. God bless you all and Good night
Thanks Bunmi @Bunmi_Sobowale for this opportunity to share. May God help you too as you help others.
No comments:
Post a Comment