LARA KUDAIYISI-EMERALDS WAS OUR 3RD SPEAKER ON THE MAY EDITION OF #AARTALK. SHE SHARED ON "TURNING YOUR PAIN TO POWER."
The session talked about how pain can be turn into power and also birth purpose out of us. She also stressed on the need for us to learn lessons from our pains. The pain we came from is the power we use to fuel. Pain will will break you until you become broken, never despise your pain or circumstances. It was indeed a soul-lifting session. You can have a good read here.#ENJOY.
Good Evening People. How was your day?
I am so glad for this privilege to be able to share with you this evening.
This evening I would sharing on the topic: TURNING YOUR PAIN TO POWER.
A lot of us grew up in life with one pain or another.
Especially if you grew up in Nigeria;you would know the pain of koboko or pankere.
Or whatever the name your parents gave that cane that resets your whole system.
Pain has always been part of our lives from when we were little and we couldn't help ourselves.
However,there is a different type of pain that gives you a great and open sore.
A sore that keeps getting deeper and fresher by the day.
This kind of sore affects your body,soul and spirit!
This kind of sore emits great pain from time to time.
Some of you here have been through that kind of pain and your sore is so deep and smitten with fresh blood!
Sometimes,some people poke sharp objects into it again and again and any hope of being closed up is so slim.
That pain could be Rape,Abuse,Rejection or Depression or some other big name.
It makes you cry inside whenever no one is looking and you feel so small and empty inside.
I know what it feels like,dearie. I was used,rejected and abandoned over and over and over again.
I gave up on life and began to define my life with my issues and reality!
I thought to myself,maybe not everyone was born to be happy. Maybe I was born to be miserable.
And because of this I turned to sex to validate me.
I didn't heal from my hurts before delving into other relationships.
This bring me to my number one point on how to turn your pain to power.
Healing. You need to pursue healing of that sore before you move on to other things.
If you don't heal from that pain,you will never be happy in other things.
And how do you heal?
You need to turn your pain over to someone more superior than you.
Someone who knows the beginning from the end. He sees every little thing creeping on the face of the earth.
You need to turn your pain over to God. No one else can help you like he can.
Give him your pain and hurt,He only can use it for a greater Good.
Now,having done that,you need to take it one day at a time.
Everyday when you wake up,say a simple prayer and be determined to get through that day in happiness.
Another point is that you need positive affirmations for your life.
You need to have like 10-20 positive statements that you recite everyday to affirm who you truly are.
I call it "MY I AM STATEMENTS"
I wrote 20 statements that I wish to become and I recite them to myself every morning.
Back then,my statements were "I am strong, I am beautiful, I am a solution to my generation, I am graceful" and so on. #AARTalk
When you read these things aloud to your subconscious mind,you gradually become that which you tell yourself.
The subconscious mind is 1,000 times more powerful than the conscious mind.
You have the temptation to tell yourself that you are not good enough or you are bitter because of your pain.
Also,if you can go a step further to see a counsellor,a coach or a therapist,that would go a long way in helping you heal fast.
Then,read books on how to get over your pain and hurts. This helped me a lot.
I read different books that made me realize that re-inforced my self esteem.
Also,try and move with the right crowd. People who know where they are going in life.
Don't throw pity parties. Don't move with people who think the whole world is against them.
Please move with people who have great self esteem and knew where exactly they are going in life.
Please don't relapse into your pain. Don't give your assailant or the one who hurt you the pleasure of falling apart.
I know you feel terrible and that you can't do this but of course you can.
You possess more power than you think you have. You are stronger than you think you are.
This temptation happened to you because you can handle it. So,get up and handle it,right now!
Next is indulge yourself in activities that would improve you and add value to you.
Activities like taking a dance lesson,joining a book club or a humanitarian association.
When you join these groups,it makes you feel better and useful in life as against that useless and downcast feeling.
Finally is write down your pain..
Write down your feelings each day and what you think. You feel better when you write down your feelings.
These were ways I dealt with my pain and now I am better for it.
Now,I am a Relationship Counselor and I help people rebuild people's lives.
I listen to people's pain and I help them get through it. It's such a fulfilling feeling.
And having been in great pain before, my power is in helping people become the best they can be in life.
I hope you have learnt a little tonight on how to turn your pain into great power.
The world is yours for the taking dears. Go and Conquer it.
Thank you @Bunmi_Sobowale for this great opportunity. Have a great evening everyone.
LARA KUDAIYISI EMERALDS is an Emotions Management Specialist. She is an author, speaker and blogger. You can connect with her on twitter.
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